Don’t be bored to death: Man who wrote the book on boredom tells students at Culver Academies they must learn to cultivate leisure

Kevin Gary, Ph.D., author of “Why Boredom Matters: Education, Leisure, and the Quest for a Meaningful Life,” told students at Culver Academies, known for its leadership focused boarding environment, that to live a flourishing life they must learn to cultivate leisure.

“The startup costs for hockey, getting our instrument out to play it, going out to see the sunrise on a cold day requires something of us. But the reward is far, far richer,” said Gary, an associate professor of education at Hillsdale College. “So, thinking about our lives, we’re trying to cultivate leisure.”

He spoke to four groups of students, primarily freshmen humanities students, about the topic of boredom. He also spoke to Honors in Humanities students about research and the writing process. He told the freshmen he likes studying boredom because it’s “ultimately about living a good life. I think that’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

John Rogers, a master instructor and chairman of Culver’s humanities department, introduced Gary to the students, saying: “He’s here to talk to us about boredom as you are thinking about religion, faith and big existential questions around life and how to live a good life.”

Gary told the students that the ancient Greek word skhole (or school) means leisure, or spare time. He told the students that the disciplines they study at Culver are “actually leisurely.”

“There is something intrinsically wonderous in each of them. It’s our work as teachers to guide you to see that, and it’s hard to do it,” he said.

Gary, who has a son, Gabe, who is a third classman at Culver, told the students that when he tells people he wrote a book about boredom, the typical response is: “That sounds really interesting.”

“Which is really striking to me because boredom is defined as a state of disinterest,” he said. “My next question is: ‘Why would people find boredom interesting?’ ”

Gary told the students the way most people avoid boredom is not helping them live a flourishing life. He said too often they turn to their phones.

“These are sophisticated boredom avoidance devices, right? They enable us to avoid boredom at all costs, right? It’s just this go-to move,” he said.

He told the students that in the 2010 movie “The Social Network,” about the founding of Facebook, one of the algorithm designers says there are only two industries that describe their customers as users: drug dealers and social media.

“Which is to say that it is designed to get us addicted. So, we’re addicts,” he said.

He said that too often people pick up their phone intending to look at it for three minutes and it turns into three hours. He said people should be aware of why they do that because that leads to doomscrolling and feeling “existentially bored.”

Gary told the students about a quote from author GK Chesterton: “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” He asked students what that means.

“I would say anything that you enjoy even if you’re not the best at it as long as you enjoy it you should go out and try it,” a female student said.

Gary agreed. He said leisurely pursuits require focal practices and are important because they “restore us.”

“It forces us to focus and give our attention to one thing. It’s precious. It’s so precious,” he said.

He said when people are taking part in leisurely pursuits that require focus, they don’t turn to their phones. He asked several students what sports they play. When one girl answered “hockey,” he asked: “Have you ever checked your phone while playing hockey?”

She replied she hadn’t.

“Of course not,” he said. “It’s a focal practice. It forces you to focus and give your attention to this one thing. It’s precious. We just let our attention get pulled in a thousand different ways. These focal practices, if we actually enter into them – I’m getting a little dramatic – are one of the last refuges to help us stay tending to one thing.”

He told the students they need to set up conditions so they can focus on what they are doing. He said they will need help from friends.

“I don’t think we can do this alone,” he said.

Gary told the students that to manage boredom he dropped social media last fall because Facebook was causing him to feel envy, anxiety, fear and other unhealthy emotions. He said he’s also trying to cut back on using his smartphone and he tries to teach as much as he can without using technology.

“Our kids get enough technology out in the world. So, I’m trying to find a space where that’s not happening,” he said.